Responsibility

Responsibility, My brother and I

My brother, Mike is turning 24 in June. We are a year and 19 days apart. Mike and I are the exact opposite- like night and day. While I go to school, work in a school, and am raising a family, my brother chose another path. A rough path. As his younger sister, I try to help him, mentor him through times. It's tiring though, and I'm tired of trying to help him when he cannot help himself. He has lost numerous jobs, and within those jobs numerous opportunities to become a better person. It hurts me everytime I hear someone say he's not doing so well- brings heart ache to both my mom and I. We are the ones that care most for him, as my mother has tried to shelter, feed and be there for him. He has drained her as well. There is only so much a mother can take- and my mother is sick, so it's hard on her. To even out and try and help, I've taken on the responsibility of doing everything to help my brother. When I lived up in Las Cruces, I went as far as taking him in, just in the early morning hours to take care of him while the alcohol left his system. 2 years ago I recall going to take care of him, and driving home at 4am from Las Cruces to El Paso, because I had enough...I was trying to hold him up and he let himself drop, (my brother is 6'2" and 165lbs) he made me hit my face on the sink, I had a bruise- This is very unfair! Mike drops off the face of the earth for days at a time- no one hears from him, or knows whether he is alive or dead... I've called hospitals and jails at times wondering what happened to him. My biggest fear, is that he'll travel to California where my other family is, the ones that are like him. I'll lose him, I don't want that. In the mean time, this little sister will keep trying.